


still good

by Nyxierose



Series: accidental roommates [1]
Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, First Time, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Sleepy Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 16:28:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14918846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyxierose/pseuds/Nyxierose
Summary: "You make things better for me. I look at you and I am reminded that there are still good things in this world."





	still good

**Author's Note:**

> Post-whatever. Obvious content warning re: aftermath of a panic attack.
> 
> Come flail at me about these darlings on tumblr [@electricbluebutterflies](http://electricbluebutterflies.tumblr.com)

For the first night in six months, Lucy can't sleep.

It's weird, that issue - used to be a thing, but went away as soon as she started taking up space where she is right now with the best accidental roommate a woman could ask for. Which is admittedly a weird situation, but she blames that more on…

Well, honestly, there are a few obvious quirks to her unintentional invasion of Flynn's room, but it's working out great. Still not a formal arrangement, but after their routine of talking until godawful-AM and her accidentally falling asleep on his bed became established, they quietly accepted the state of things. They are roommates, and they occasionally make out on missions as a distraction technique, and their relationship is probably damned to stay right where it is. All is well.

Except that it's four in the morning and Lucy's wide awake and things are absolutely _not_ okay.

She hears the issue before she actually sees it. Flynn is as curled up in the chair as he ever gets, limbs sticking out in all directions in a way that _cannot_ be comfortable for him, and he's definitely out except he _isn't_. Breathing weird, the way one does in the midst of a panic attack and… shit, it probably _is_ a panic attack. Great. Welp, least she can do is make herself useful.

She walks over and attempts to deal with the situation. It's familiar enough; she's been there herself a few times, though usually with eyes open, and she decides that the things that help her are gonna have to work as a starting point here. Carefully, aware that she's dealing with someone twice her size who could easily hurt her without thinking (but wouldn't, she knows that, he's always been so delicate with her), she puts her hands on his shoulders with as much pressure as she can manage.

"Hey. Wake up. It's okay. You're safe."

His eyes shock open and it's a couple terrifying seconds before he actually sees her and forces himself to… not exactly _relax_ , he's still too lost in whatever-the-hell for that, but he softens a little bit as he takes her in. He is not used to having someone there to catch him, and there's a subtle sadness in it and-

"I'm sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't." She takes a deep breath. If this were anyone else in her life, this would be the point where she'd hug them - touch is an important language for her, one she speaks well in a crisis. But not him, not this man she's gotten terribly tangled up in in far too complicated a way to cross lines so easily. "How often do you have those?"

"You didn't know?"

That's not anywhere near the answer she's looking for, and she can't help rolling her eyes. "No. I guess I sleep through them."

"Every time I try to sleep. So, every two or three days."

Suddenly a few things make perfect sense, and she wonders why she didn't notice earlier. Flynn pushes himself too hard, she knew _that_ , but somehow she assumed better coping mechanisms. But no, he's a human disaster and of course that's how he fights the dark things in his head. Oh, she hates how oblivious she's been to it, but at least now she knows.

"Anything you need me to do?"

"No. It'll pass. I don't… I don't mind the flashbacks. It's the only way I get to see them."

More things she should've noticed. She's really going for it here, and she'll have to find a way to deal with this guilt at some point but that will happen _later_ , once her partner is okay.

They take care of each other. They're good at that. He's gotten her through enough bad nights and out of enough awkward situations, and she's tried to do the same - not anywhere near the same level, she's well aware of that, but her heart is there. And maybe this could be a step forward for her, towards being a better whatever-she-is.

(God, they _really_ need to define this relationship. Yet another thing for her infinite to-do list.)

"I still should've noticed. Before now."

"It's alright, Lucy. I didn't want to weigh you down with it."

Her hands are still on his shoulders, and she is so close, and she could kiss him if she wanted to. She _does_ want to, just to show that she is here and she is willing to help and she is determined to stay, but at the same time it seems like too much. Now is a bad time to admit to herself what she's being avoiding for a few months now, that she's falling in love with him and isn't even sure if that's a bad thing. Less than ideal, definitely, but she can't see how their relationship would change if they crossed physical lines. They'd still be _them_ , still the weird beautiful interplay that's anchored her since she noticed it, just with an additional layer. It would be lovely, it would-

"You should take the cot tonight. You need to rest."

"I won't sleep. And you don't need to sacrifice for me."

Another deep breath. The temptation to yell at him is strong, but Lucy knows that won't help. "Me, sacrifice? This _was_ your room. I'm the parasite here."

"No. Don't think of it like that."

"Most of my stuff is in here, I keep borrowing your sweaters…"

"And have I ever said I minded?"

"No…"

"You make things better for me. I look at you and I am reminded that there are still good things in this world."

She wonders, sometimes, if she's supposed to be some kind of second chance for him. The future version of her did say as much - not that this Lucy took notes during _that_ mess, but there were some solid implications - but she's not sure what to do about that, what steps to take and when. But it is nice to know she's valued, and he's gotten so good at that. No one else has ever seen her so clearly, both good and bad sides, and no one else has defended her so consistently. It's hard to think of any steps forward that _don't_ involve him somehow.

"Okay, fine. Then curl up with me. We'll both fit."

She's not entirely sure about that, or about the weight limit on the cots - there definitely _is_ one, and she knows she's not as tiny as she looks - but it's worth a shot. And to her surprise, Flynn does not question this idea.

"Took us long enough," he murmurs as they attempt to arrange their bodies on the mattress.

She ends up mostly on top of him, which is _not_ a bad thing. His heartbeat is steady, she notices as she rests her head on his chest, and his arms wrap around her body just so and it hits her that this is probably the safest she will ever be. Lying here with someone she loves, someone who would move heaven and hell to keep herself.

Screw it. She's okay with being a second chance.

As soon as that thought crosses her mind, he shifts position just a little bit and tries to kiss her forehead. Tries, as in she leans her head up at exactly the wrong (or right?) moment and their lips meet instead and it's not _technically_ their first kiss but it's the first one that's happened in their primary timeline and not involved way more alcohol than usual and it is, for intense and purposes, the first kiss that actually counts for anything.

It is the most beautiful moment of Lucy's life, and her brain short-circuits accordingly.

Look, she was okay with the mutual-pining situation. She was okay with the stuff they do on missions that doesn't count for anything, and that one time a couple months ago with the tequila that neither of them fully remembers, and otherwise doing the platonic-life-partners thing as best they can. But he pulls her fully on top of him and sucks on her bottom lip just so, and it is simultaneously too much and not enough, and whatever they're about to evolve into is going to be so much better.

"We doing this?" she murmurs, shifting her hips against his to make it beautifully clear what she wants.

"Do you want to?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yes."

It's appropriate, she thinks as they shift their bodies and remove the absolute minimum amount of clothing, that their first collision happens like this. They're both tired and in no real mood for any formalities, and a few delicate touches are all that's needed before she sinks down onto him. Slow, gentle, determined. The sort of sex that sets realistic expectations for a lifetime, assuming they get that. She keeps her mouth on his as much as possible, partially for fear of making unnecessary noise and partially because she likes the sensation of it, and allows her mind to wander. Why did it take them so long to cross this line, and what lies ahead now that they have, and-

He falls apart beneath her, completely silent, and she shifts off of him as they catch their breath.

"You need anything?"

"I'm okay. Too tired."

"Alright," he murmurs, a little disappointed.

"Some other time. When we're both in better space."

She rests her head back on his shoulder, where she belongs, and closes her eyes. Now, she thinks, _now_ everything is alright.


End file.
